One Year Old

Titus,

It seems like just yesterday I was dreaming of being a mommy  and wishing that I could have my very own baby to love.  And now, you've been here for a whole year!!  Motherhood is HARD, but its by far the best job I've ever had.  I wanted to write down a little bit about what you are up to these days so that I will have something to look back on when you are older.  I know I'm going to forget all the little details so I'm hoping that I can do a better job blogging this year. 

NEWEST ACHIEVEMENTS: Everyday you seem to be learning something new.  Your vocabulary is growing rapidly, you say da da, mama, da (dog), da -si (Daisy Grandma's Dog), kee (Kitty), Go, Yay, and lots of other words that I have no idea what they mean.  You have also started pointing at things that you see that interest you.  It's very cute!!  On your first birthday you were taking a few steps, like maybe one or two in a row, but one week later you were taking up to 7 or 8 steps in a row!  And now, less than a month later you are almost running!!  And you love to climb!  I'm scared of all the places I know I'm going to find you in the near future!  Yikes!  So far, I've only found you on top of the hearth, the couch, standing in your rocking chair, and also standing on top of your little fisher price car. 

PERSONALITY: You love to smile and laugh!  You have just learned how to fake laugh and smile and it just cracks me up.  You are also quite stubborn!  Yikes!  I pray that I can be firm enough and consistent with my "No's".  You have been experiencing some stranger awareness anxiety over the last month and a half, but on the flip side, you will flirt with just about anyone that makes eye contact with you!! 

SLEEP: You are a very early riser, you are up most days by 5:30, sometimes earlier and occasionally you let me sleep in until 6:30!!  You are still taking two naps a day, but you seem to think you only need one nap so I usually have to fight to get you to take the second nap.  You have never been a very good napper but now you will actually sleep for at least an hour, sometimes two.  And you are usually sound asleep for the evening by 7:30.  You still wake up a round midnight to nurse but I'm hoping that you will soon sleep through the night!  In fact last night you didn't wake up until 4:20, so maybe we are getting closer.

FOOD:  So far you still prefer nursing more than any other type of food.  You nurse probably three or four times a day and once in the middle of the night.  It makes me laugh because I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to nurse you and now I'm worried I'll never be able to wean you!! But I have really enjoyed our time together and I know that I will miss it once we are done.  You do take a bottle when I'm at work and you are slowly getting better at eating actual food.  You are just a very SLOW eater so we have to be patient and remember not to rush you!  :)  Your favorite food is Cheerios or Puffs.  You also enjoy yogurt, bananas, avocados, beans, macaroni and cheese and oranges.  You are also quite good at begging.  If I'm eating something you will squawk at me until I share a bite (that you usually just chew on and then spit back out!).  You have figured out how to feed the dogs and you love to watch them scurry over when you "share" your food by dropping it down to them. 

FUN: We take you for lots of walks in our jogging stroller and you love it.  You rarely make a peep so you must enjoy watching everything go by as we are walking.  I've taken you to the park and while you like to walk around and enjoy the slide, you do NOT like the swing!  You don't want to swing by yourself, or with me, even watching me swing makes you cry.  It's weird, and I hope you get over your fear soon because I REALLY want to push you in the swing at the park. You are also showing us how much you really are ALL boy, you love to wrestle, and also to chase us and to be chased by us!  It's adorable!

Precious baby I'm so glad God gave you to us!  We have enjoyed every minute with you and cannot wait to see what this next year holds for you.  I pray that God keeps you safe and healthy and helps me and daddy be exactly the parents you need us to be!!

Love you tons!
Mommy

A Birth Story

So this is a little over a year late... but better late than never, right?  :)

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Sweet Titus, getting you here was no small feat!  :)  Your original due date was December 31, 2011.  But that day came and went and there was no sign of your arrival.  I’d have contractions here and there but nothing regular and I was not dilated at all, you had not dropped, your head wasn’t engaged and I was starting to get very worried.  So Dr. Lake decided to induce me on January 5th.  We arrived at the hospital at 7 am and got all checked in to our room.  They started me on medicine to get me to dilate at around 8 in the morning.  The meds worked well and by 8:15 that night I was dilated to a 3 and my water broke on its own while I was walking around trying to get things started.  Up until this point my labor had been boring and not painful at all.  After my water broke my contractions really picked up and they would not let me walk around anymore, so they became a lot more painful.  The breathing exercises did help but by 3 AM that morning they were just too painful and I was getting really tired.  I decided to go ahead and get an epidural so that I would hopefully be able to get some sleep.  I was afraid that without any rest there would be no way that I could push you out.  The epidural took away some of the pain but never really got my left side very numb.  So I was never able to get any real sleep.  I was taking forever to dilate, but by 10 the morning of the 6th I was finally dilated to a 10!!  But you still hadn't dropped so they didn't want me to push yet.  About an hour and a half later I asked the nurse if I could just start pushing.  I was tired and very ready to meet you and wanted to be able to do something and pushing seemed like the next step.  So I started pushing.  By this point my contractions had slowed down to being around five minutes apart, so I had to wait in between each contraction before I could push.  After an hour and a half of pushing they called Dr. Lake in so that you could finally be born.  They got everything ready and as I pushed thru the next contraction Dr. Lake said, "Stop pushing!!  That is not a head, this baby is breach!!".  This was a 1:30pm.  I was really scared that something bad was going to happen to you, but the nurse assured me that your heart rate was doing good and that I just needed to stay calm and then that would help keep your heart rate where it was supposed to be.  Grandma Kerry was there and she also helped to remind me and your dad that God was in control and that everything was going to be okay.  All the nurses hurried up to get me ready for an emergency c-section.  They already had one c-section going on so they had to assemble another team together and get a second operating room ready.  Once they got me into the OR I had to lay there while they were still trying to get the room ready and give me enough medicine so that I would be numb from the waist down.  I had two anesthesiologists arguing over how much medicine to give me, one thought that I needed more medicine and the other thought that I would have too much medicine if they gave me that much.  It was very scary.  But I tried to focus on you and getting to meet you.  I also sang one of my very favorite songs (in my head, not out loud!).  Your dad was not in the OR with me yet because he had to put scrubs on and wait for the room to be ready before they would let me in.  Finally they were ready to start.  My right side was very numb but my left side was not as numb and as they began the c-section I realized that it was hurting a lot.  I felt everything.  It was so painful.  I was so thankful that your dad was right there next to me.  He got right down in my face and just kept telling me over and over again that it was going to be okay. At 2:30pm, after what seemed like an eternity, Dr. Lake called out, “Okay Dad, tell us what it is!”  Your daddy peaked over the curtain and said, “It’s a boy!!”.  I could see you just barely as they cleaned up and you started to cry on the warming table.  Your dad and I had still not decided on a name at this point, but we both looked at each other and knew, your name was Titus James.  Your birth was a crazy event, but seeing you made it all worth it.  After they finished stitching me up they wheeled my bed into a recovery room where I got to really meet you for the first time.  As I looked at you for the first time up close I could see that you were the spitting image of your daddy, which was so special to me.  See you and realizing you look exactly like your dad made me realize that God had a plan all along and had not only blessed me with a baby, but blessed me with a little boy that looked just like his daddy, which was what I had always dreamed about.  It was a sweet little bonus that God didn’t have to do, but that I feel He did as a way to remind me how much HE loves me every time I look at you. 

Looking back it made since that I never went into labor on my own and that my labor went so slowly.  You were breech (butt first) so there was nothing to really put good pressure on my cervix.  Thankfully you were perfectly healthy and suffered no ill effects other than a bruised butt and a little cut on your bum where they had placed the internal monitor on your “head”!!  I will never know why my doctor and two different nurses never caught the fact that you were breech and had been for quite some time.  My advice to every mommy-to-be is to GET AN ULTRASOUND at the end of your pregnancy just too make baby is pointed in the right direction.  :)

You were well worth all the drama and have blessed me more than I could ever tell you!

I love you baby bear!

Mommy