We have been in our new place for a little over a month and it is finally starting to feel like home. And, while we do miss daily interaction with Grandma and Papa, being a family of three has been fun. For the first time ever Titus is sleeping in his own room and it has been NICE! He still seems to think that 4:30 AM is a great wake up time but I'm hoping once his 2 year molars finish coming in (only one has poked thru so far!) that maybe, just maybe, he will sleep to a more dignified hour, like say, 5?? :-)
In FET news we are all set to go with our next cycle. I ordered my meds yesterday and now we just wait for that fateful cycle day one so I can call for my first appointment. I finally got the nerve up to ask the nurse what our remaining four embryos were graded at and she said they were all A's which is good, but that only two of them were actually at the blast stage. The other two were morulas (I think that's how you spell it) which is the stage just prior to a blast. They were all frozen on day 6, so I feel a little less hopefull. But I am trying to just focus on the fact that they are real little people and that God already knows the outcome and number of their days, so I don't need to worry about it, right?! :-). I hate the emotional puddle that infertility can reduce me to. I want to have the faith and strength to say that God is good, and all things are possible. And that even if we aren't blessed with more children it's ok because God has a plan and His ways are perfect. But my flesh is weak and it says that things don't always work out, and that bad things happen all the time. And that I have already been blessed beyond measure, so how could I dare long for more?
The internal battle can be draining, and the best part is I'm not even on any meds yet!!!! So yeah, I'm going to need a lot of prayer!
On a more positive note, two of my very best friends have just finished their first IVF cycles with Dr K and they are both now pregnant! Which is amazing news!! So I am just tickeled to think (dare I dream a little?) that we could all be prego together. But either way I should have two yummy newborns to snuggle this summer and that is so sweet. My heart is so full as I reflect on how good God has been and how he has used Titus to encourage others to pursue further treatment. It truely blows my mind.
So I will keep snuggling my cutie and keep on reminding myself of these truths... He has been faithful. He has been with us. He will continue to be with us, no matter what our future holds.
