Monday, November 25, 2013

Down, but not quite out...

My hCG numbers from this morning were only a 24.  :(  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terribly bummed.  But, I am also not too surprised, the test from yesterday just wasn't as dark as I thought it should have been.  It's just amazing how hopeful you can still be even when you know its a long shot. 

Anyway, of course because it is technically positive they want me to continue my shots and do another blood draw on Wednesday in hopes that the numbers double.  I know that nothing is too hard for God and am praying for a miracle.  But I am also realistic and praying that I can maintain a positive/thankful attitude no matter the final outcome.  It's hard, seems like it'd be easier to just assume its over and move on, but then I feel like I'm failing them if I don't hope and pray my hardest for them to stay.  I don't want to give up on them.  They were/are here and they matter VERY much too me.  But my self preservation side feels like throwing in the towel today.  There just aren't any words.  Just super thankful for Titus today.  He seems like the biggest miracle ever right about now.

2 comments:

  1. 24 is still positive! I had a 15 in my transfer in August. It is not fun to have to prolong the final word. I pray that your outcome is different than mine. Your reaction towards Titus is the exact way I reacted in the two failed FETs following our miracle girl. She is more a miracle to me than ever now. I am so glad you have your little man to give you great joy during this season of waiting.

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind comments. I am praying for all of you. How are you doing?

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